Monday, December 29, 2008

I'm in Wonderland.

"When you're 9-7, you're close," Smith said. "You don't need an overhaul. You just need to add a few pieces to the puzzle."-Lovie Smith

There is this scene in "Saving Private Ryan" that so disturbed me that I promised never to watch the movie again. Toward the climactic ending, Pvt. Mellish, played by Adam Goldberg, was in a tower. He was tackled by a large Nazi, who took a knife and plunged it into Mellish's abdomen. As he killed Mellish, he held him close and softly "shushed" him like one would do to a baby. It makes me ill just recounting this scene. A stabbing is such an up close and personal method of killing. Add to that the Nazi's complete ease in destroying a human life, well, it doesn't get more real than that. Too real.

When I read the above quote, Pvt. Mellish came to mind. This is the only way I can express the onslaught of emotion that hit me. I want to cradle my coach in my arms and end it. How else to deal with this infuriating man? Can he truly be serious? Even the casual fan who knows nothing about pro football knows that Smith is dead wrong in this analysis. I should have been better prepared; I did predict this. Just didn't think he would say it so soon.

The Bears are closer to 3-13 than 13-3. Close? Does he watch film or only the Jumbotron during games? I have watched the Jumbotron at the games and I can tell you, the Bears don't look better on replay. This is a nightmare. I love the Bears with a passion that crosses the line of sensible, adult behavior. I don't know what to do. I need more time. I feel despair. My team has been taken over by aliens.

Somebody has to do something. This town loves the Bears. All we want is to win. Why don't the owners, management and coaches want the same thing? This question is always on my mind. Sure, they talk winning. As they say, talk is cheap. Their actions don't back it up. I hate them all for making me feel this way. They have got to be stopped. Lovie's "puzzle" is like the outdoor maze in The Shining , and I'm Jack. I have got his look on my face right now. Right now.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Playoffs Avoided.

They had to win. They couldn't do it. Beaten, in the end, by a more talented team. The moments that summed it up: Losing the best receiver in the NFL in a coverage mistake, and a stop the defense had to have.

The mistake. Daniel Manning has made that mental mistake before. More than once. It was the reason he was not the starting free safety. We had found a use for Manning in the past four weeks. He had been successful, a difference-maker. They must have forgot about his inability to react properly in pass coverage. They had Steltz take all of the practice reps at free safety. Apparently, they still remembered Manning's mistakes right up until 11:00 a.m. when they made Daniel the surprise starter.

In the end, they had it down to seven, and they needed the ball back. Couldn't get the Texans off of the field. Couldn't stop the run-9 carries for 70 yards on the drive. Story of this defense, this season.

There I was, riveted to the TV, hoping against my own angst, that they would win this game. It meant something, if just for this day and this game. Problem is that the Bears did not feel the same way. Maybe some did but not all. People will talk about the lull in the offense after the ten-point lead. That lull is called "ADJUSTMENT." The opposing coaches adjust, and the offense stalls. The key is to re-adjust. The Bears have shown the inability to change for two seasons.

I am interested to see Kyle Orton throw to some professional receivers. I think he is pretty good. The Cover-2 is over. See Tampa Bay's last four games.

This loss does hurt. Not as much pain as the Cowboy fans must be feeling. That makes me feel better. The Jets and the Cowboys spent money like Arab sheiks this past off-season. You can't build a winner with too many free agents. Or a meddling owner. Two things that will never happen in Chicago. I'm pulling for the Falcons. Has Farve retired yet?

It has been a rough year. Up and down. Hoping that this team could put a whole team effort together. I am watching Eagle safety Brian Dawkins talking about what he was playing for this Sunday knowing they have a shot at the playoffs. He said, "We played for each other; we wanted to win this game for the guys in the locker room. We may have had a chance to get in the playoffs, but it really did not matter. We wanted to beat the Cowboys and let whatever happens, happen." That's football. Love it.

Mike Singletary got the head coaching job in San Francisco. Won 4 or his 5 games as coach. A guarantee: Singletary will win in this league. He will win alot. He is a proud man not burdened by pride. Love him.

Until draft day, go Hawks, go Flyin' Illini.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What Doesn't Kill You Only Makes You Delude Yourself Into Thinking You Can Win a Playoff Game.

I confess that I was hoping that Mason Crosby was going to make that kick and end this charade of a "playoff" season. I don't feel guilty about it. Lovie Smith must be Irish or have a horseshoe up his ass, because I have not seen such luck. Does he ever say anything into those headphones? It should say "Fisher Price" not "Motorola" on those things.

No playoffs, OK? If you can't compete for a Super Bowl VICTORY, why burden your fanbase with false hope. I mean, 10-6, for this team? It is not right. I know that I am very negative, but I know this program. They will not improve the talent-level in a meaningful way. These ten wins will somehow enable them to coast through the off-season. They are delusional; you know this is true. Two years from a Super Bowl appearence, and they roll out this receiving crew? And I'm the crazy one. Scheme changes and talent are needed here, stat. IV with ringers-let's get em to Rampart. Where is Randolph Mantooth and why didn't he have a movie career? Foreshadowing for David Caruso. What was I talking about?

Enough of the "light is going on for Devin Hester" as a receiver comments. He let a TD pass right through the old paws, again. Plus, Orton can't hit him on those Superfly routes. What is the point? When pressed hard by the experienced and talented Packer corners, Hester could not get off the line, get into his routes and get open. He is a number 3; a taller Antwaan Randle-El. No more.

The only man out there this year is Lance Briggs. He has been very good all season. And at cost.

You know you have a bad organization when not only can't you evaluate your own talent, you can't even evaluate the playing surface. This is the Fucking NFL. Play should not be affected by slipping on a crappy field. How can this go on? Put in the field-turf and let the best players in the world settle it the right way. I am so pissed about this field. It is the height of "bush" league.

All right, I will get positive. Daniel Manning has been a difference-maker in the last 3 games. He has found a niche. You have to cherrypick the good stuff, but it is there. Alex Brown, Matt Forte, solid performers. Finally, the geniuses up in the booth, they that Lovie is not talking to, finally decide that getting the ball to Greg Olsen is a priority. Kinda the reason you dopes drafted him. It won them a ball game.

Not sold on Orton as the answer. I have seen enough to keep him and keep playing him. Not enough consistency to lift the manhole cover off the offensive player checkbook.

Craig Steltz is a rookie, and I like him. But if that missed tackle doesn't cause him to jerk awake at night in a cold sweat like Nick Nolte in "North Dallas Forty" then I don't want him. That's "falling on your face in Chicago" Right, Phil? National TV no less.

Kornheiser was good last night. At the end of the half, as the Bears were pissing down their legs, he asked "why aren't they booing louder. Jaws, am I right?" He was right. However, Tony needs to understand some things. A. People were as frozen as Lovie's 1,000 yard stare at the Jumbotron. B. So were the beers. C. They were waiting for the half to end, as Jaworski told him. And as they left the field, they got it. He also said that the Bear fans have been getting psyched for the defense for the past 50 years. This is also true. We are so used to incompetent offense, we don't bother vocalizing; falls on deaf ears. Remember the first 6 games of 2005? The Grossman month? We were scoring so much, people were disrobing in the stands. It was anarchy. Bear fans couldn't survive a whole season of good offense. We have sausage stuck in our aortas, the "Chicago heart" beats tenuously.

Oh, Robbie Gould. MVP. The kicker. The horror.

Please Bears, just die already, in Houston. Don't empower the evil silent genius.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Looking Forward to Many Bears Accidently Shooting Themselves in the Thigh

It is tough to sit in front of this computer to write about the Bears. For the first time all season, I shut off the game with time on the clock. Two huge road games in the division, the latter, if won, would have given the Bears the full length lead for a division crown. The results...two gutless performances. With a chance to prove to this fan that the Bear players and coaches were up to being a formidable playoff opponent, they came up lame. They shoot horses, why not Bears.

There is no intensity or toughness in this group. The decision-making is suspect from the top on down. In the end, they are an 8-8 team, inconsistent, like I had mentioned earlier in the year. I get caught up, ride the ups too long and allow the dips to depress me too much. I didn't trust my own instincts. It's my fault. Mine and Lovie's.

If you love pro football, watch the Giants. They are doing everything right, including their handling of the Plaxico situation. Bottom line, they proved that they can have a successful passing game without him. Good times.

Looks like Charlie Weis is back for another year. I would suggest some humble pie but the punchline is too easy. As bad as ND's talent base was when Weis's third year began, he should get a chance to coach his recruits. The problem is that I don't think he can do it. Sucks to start over. And Lou Holtz can shut the fuck up. I think Lou is a genius and knows how to build a winner. But when he took the job, he got assurances that his recruits would get accepted. And they did. He won a national championship and came a phantom holding call away from a second title with a partial (Prop 48) qualifier at QB, Tony Rice. Rice ran Holtz's veer better than any QB he ever coached. In the end, Lou won too much, and the priests pulled the rug out from under him. Dr. Lou got the hell out. So, it ain't easier to win now for Charlie than it was for Holtz. He is lying out of his ass. He is a genius at that as well.

My Bears playoff ticket invoice went right into the shredder. The sad part, they could still win the division. I won't be there to see it. I have learned my lesson. I refuse to watch Kevin Payne again. If he knocks another teammate off a tackle with his ridiculous tackling technique (think of a scud missile wearing a navy blue #44 jersey-inaccurate and sometimes a dud), I may swallow my own tongue. Oh, and one more suggestion, it might not serve you well to call three inside running plays into the two best run-stuffing D-tackles in the league. Not good times. But I'm not still bitter.

Oh yeah, Peanut, when they ask you what happened on your junior varsity attempt at covering Bernard Berrian, your answer should be, "I screwed up." Your answer that "I was going through my progressions, well, I just don't know what happened" was really compelling. It looked like a Bassmaster fisherman hooked you with a double-squiggly spinner bait and pulled your head forward toward the WRONG RECEIVER. After Berrian went the distance, Lovie asked Tillman "Charles, why did Bernard Berrian go 99 YARDS for a touchdown?" Tillman replied, "Coach, that was all he needed."

Tillman didn't really say that. Actually, it was Ohio Stae assistant coach, Lou Holtz to Woody Hayes after USC Trojan O.J. Simpson went 95 yards for a touchdown. True Story. One of the few you will get out of Lou.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Tommie Harris is Misunderstood Again

Mike Lombardi of the National Football Post commenting on Brad Biggs Sun-Times article:
No one takes exception to the work of the media more regularly than defensive tackle Tommie Harris, who complained at length about a Sun-Times column from earlier in the week that he acknowledged he didn’t read. Harris said the column made it appear he was pointing fingers at teammates after the loss to Tennessee. ‘ You think that a lot of the fans are saying a lot of negative stuff, but it’s really just the media that always keeps us going,” Harris said. ”That’s what you guys have to do, that’s your job. … I just pray for you guys and hope that you can sleep at night.” Cornerback Corey Graham said Wednesday that everyone with the Bears was on thin ice, and that seems to be the way some want it. ”Where is it not tense Week [11]?” Smith said. ”It’s a big game, and each week it’s that way. I hope it would be tense. There’s a lot at stake, and guys want to play well. It will be the same thing next week and the week after that.”

Mike says: Tommie Harris is just too inconsistent as a player. He looked back to form about a month ago, and now he is back to lying on blocks and does not have the ability to disrupt many plays. He is not quick off the ball, he is not explosive right now and this affects the Bears defense. The whole concept of the defense is built around having great play from the three techniques. Harris has been too inconsistent and this is why the Bears are so inconsistent.


This is dead-on. Harris's act is growing very tired. Tommie, the media is not blocking your ass. Harris is not coming off the ball and does not have the size to dominate the middle. A 3-technique is really not supposed to clog; he is supposed to attack and disrupt. Harris may command an initial double, but the extra OL quickly moves on to another defender. On passing downs, Dvorcek and Israel Idonojie are more effective. Harris needs to shut his mouth and earn that salary. If anyone should be losing sleep, it's Harris-for stealing money and wins from our team.

I am heading to Lambeau, aka "Football Mecca" for the big game. I would not be going if Orton was out. Love ya' Neckbeard. You can count on Kyle to do whatever it takes to play, which is another way to say "No chance that midget is getting into the biggest divisional game of the season. This game could be a shootout. The Pack defense has been depleted with injuries to top players. The Bears D will now face a receiving corps that rivals any in the League. Just think what Kerry Collins would have done with a true deep threat. Ouch. The Baboon-ich must come up with a way to get pressure on Aaron Rodgers or this will be ugly.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

TIME TO PUT the D in DEFENSE

Thank God for good junior high football coaching. Bob Babich decides at halftime of the LION game to stop the insanity, the coming-out party for the great Dan Orlavsky. For one half, sweet Dan, looked like DAN MARINO, picking apart the Bears pass defense and their formidable lack of pass rush. The genius Babich decides that the BLITZ would be an effective tactic against a young, green QB. Thanks, Bob. Only one half of hypertension to weaken my heart for life. Thanks loads.

Kyle or no Kyle, Rex aside, this Titan game is a test for the defense and the O-line. Tennessee is big and mean. They will come right at you. In the immortal words of Al McGuire, the Titans will bring no "french pastry." It will be a slobberknocker of a game. The Bears better strap it up, because the tougher team will win. This reminds me of the 2004 game in Pittsburgh. The Steelers, in the cold and snow, powered by a soon-to-be-retired Jerome Bettis, kicked the snot out of the Bears and launched themselves into a championship run. It was an ass-whipping. That's what I love about football. It ain't complicated. You will find out on Sunday who is really capable of being a champion. There will be no where to hide. I can't wait.

Brian Urlacher has looked like an ordinary player when I have actually looked at him. He is not the same guy. He has lost the burst, the explosion that he was known for. You can see it on his blitzing. It is not his fault; he has hit the wall. Lance Briggs has been very good and has covered for Urlacher on the inside. Also, the cover-2 is dead. Urlacher takes himself out of the action with that deep pass drop. Opposing teams don't go deep middle; they find the underneath or the shorter routes.

What I fear you will see on Sunday is a defense that gets manhandled by a bigger front. The Bears are not stout inside and their backers are not powerful enough to stop the run. Tennessee will not have to throw to win. If the Bears can rise up, press the outside receivers man-to-man and load up on the run, they have a shot. I just think that their scheme is obsolete and their personnel is undersized for this opponent.

On the other side, they have to keep the Titans off balance. Grossman has to get into a rhythm. If it goes three and out-three and out, they will get steamrolled. The good thing about this game is that the Bears know what is coming. The question is...can they handle it and give it right back.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Week 9 is Fine

The blog writing took the bye week to recharge the battery. It helps that the Viking game was so much fun. I really had a good time, other than the fact that they keep squeezing the cars into the South lot. It's getting tighter amd tighter. They are really trying to squeeze me out. They are pissing me off. Didn't I just say that I had fun?

The reality is that when your quarterback plays well and you can score points, the game is much easier to enjoy. I love defense and hard-hitting more than most, but when you grind out the wins, it can be unsatisfying. The Bear offense has been good lately. Neckbeard the pirate, has been quite the swashbuckler.

Mike Singletary is one of my football heroes. He has no capacity for bullshit. His press conference after the 49er's last game was an example. He said what every football fan wants to say. It's what every football man believes. You aren't supposed to say it to a pro? F that. The real shame is that Mike has to say it at all. These divas get paid to play. The 49er's suck and most of them are losers. The media is beautiful. Especially the ex-coach commentators. If those loads knew what motivated these pricks, wouldn't they have coaching jobs? I believe the best way to motivate most players is to threaten them with their jobs. Jimmie Johnson, Parcells, Coughlin did it that way. They won some Super Bowls with that little tactic. But then the media and players would call them mean and cruel. Boo hoo, sissies.

Here comes the Lion. I fear any team that is 0 for the season. Start fast, boys and let them suck on the jetwash.