Father's Day XI

I miss my father every day. It is not because we spent a lot of time together or talked constantly. It's just that when my dad died, I felt cast adrift in the world. It's because I always knew that my dad was steering the ship. Since childhood, I always believed that I was safe because my dad was at the helm. When he left, I was 39 years old, but I knew then and still know now that this feeling will never pass. That is just the way it is with your father. I feel lucky to have had such a steady hand on the steering wheel.

One of the most important things I have ever done was to eulogize my dad. It was a special opportunity to share my feelings about him with others. He deserved it. I did have practice, however. I told my dad what he meant to me while he was alive, on a Father's Day. My dad was an acquired taste, and it took some time for me to figure him out. When I did, I had to tell him. I wanted him to know; I wanted no regrets. It felt good to say how much I admired him and how much he influenced my accomplishments. I know he was proud of the man that I had become. The guy that blogs before you owes his dad so much. He taught me how to sail.

I steer the ship now. I was ready when it came my turn at the wheel. The kids don't see the unsteady hand; they just see the man standing tall, facing down the squall. They don't need to feel the burden of navigating through the icebergs; they need only to feel the joy of finding new and fun lands. I try to get them to keep an orderly deck. I keep trying. I love being a father. They would get the lifeboats, and I would go down with the ship. I love them so much.

I have been blessed with great mentors and role models in my life. My college football coach Randy, my father-in-law Pat, my friends Tom and Will are all people who I look up to and admire for the kind of men that they are. I love, respect and honor them on this Father's Day. They are great fathers and great men. I have told them that. No regrets.

This Sunday, find your dad and honor him in your own way. But let him know that he is doing a great job. He deserves to hear it. He wants to know that his hard work, love and care has meant something. Trust me, it will mean the world to him.