The Mouths That Whimper

Chicago sports used to have great announcers. Great voices and great personalities were the norm. Now, blah, blah, blahs. The Bears had Wayne Larrivee, the hardest working voice in sports. He left for Green Bay, his dream job. OK, I understand that. For his replacement, we get Jeff Joniak, who is terrible. He has an uninspiring tone, and no credibility. Grade: A to D.

The Cubs had Harry Caray, Steve Stone, Jack Brickhouse, and Milo Hamilton. All very good or great. I hate the Cubs and do not listen to their TV or radio announcers regularly. I think Pat Hughes is good, and I like Santo. Maybe you Cub fans can let me know. I would say A to a C.

The White Sox had Harry and Piersall. The kings. Now they have Hawk and DJ on TV. They are OK. A to a B-. Radio is where I get pissed. We go from John Rooney, one of the great voices in all sports, doing play by play, to Ed Farmer taking over the role. Rooney and Farmer, as color, was a kick-ass lineup. I could listen to Rooney reading a traffic report. Farmer sucks as a play by play man. He is humorless and dull. The Sox could have kept Rooney but they went on the cheap. Now, when I am in Western or Southern Illinois, I can hear him with Mike Shannon, doing the Cardinal broadcast. It is great. Grade A to F. The Cardinals went from Jack Buck, Hall of Famer, to Rooney. Great replacement; the Redbirds are a high-class operation.

The Bulls had Jim Durham and Neil Funk, both top of line. Nobody watches the NBA on TV let alone listens to it on the radio. Grade A to ? Tom Doerr and Red Kerr blow. Grade: Blow.

Last but not least, the Chicago Blackhawks. This is the worst. Legendary announcer Llyod Petitt then, Pat Foley manned the mike for my whole life. Then, for no good reason, other than they are the cheapest, lowest, dirtiest, lowdown, ratbastard fucks that ever owned a sports franchise, the Hawks dropped Foley. This should be a felony; get Blago on this. Foley was the best; great voice and opinionated. He called a dog a dog, or in this case a Hawk a dog. I never missed a game. I had to listen; the Hawks were not on TV (Ugghh.) Foley could paint the picture and raise your pulse. When the road games were on TV, it was a bonus, his voice with pictures. Grade A+ to "Death by Lethal Injection."

I am a cranky old fan, but I am right on this. So uninspired, these franchises. If the Sox don't sign Buerhle, just wait. I'll be off them for life.