"A $5 Milkshake? That's Just Milk and Ice Cream, Right? Do You Put a Shot of Rum in There?"

One of my great culinary quests is to find the best chocolate milkshake in the world. I know this is not a complicated search considering the limited ingredients. Charlie Trotter, I am not. However, a chocolate milkshake is my favorite dessert. Thus, the quest. After 30 years of questing, I do have a favorite. I will share my findings with you, my two readers.

First off, I will give a favorable review to a "well-priced" shake. My best bang-for-the-buck chocolate shake goes to Dairy Queen. A small runs about $2.50 and has good chocolate flavor and loses nothing with the soft serve ice cream. Always a solid "cheap eat."

By far, the best chocolate shake belongs to Oberweis. It is expensive, $6 a pop. When ordering this monstrosity, I have a flashback to Pulp Fiction when Vincent Vega is initially incredulous about the price of a milkshake at Jack Rabbit Slim's. (See caption). When I taste the Oberweis shake, Vince and I have the same reaction. "That's a pretty f-ing good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth $6 but it's pretty f-ing good." And it is. And it is HUGE. So, you get your money's worth in volume. In the end, no shake can touch it.

I will add that Potbelly has a good milkshake. They also give you two small butter cookies on the straw. This is the kind of personal touch that moves me. After all, who doesn't need a butter cookie now and then. It makes me feel young. Also, McDonald's has tweaked their shakes in a good way. It is cheap, and if you are in a hurry to consume some calories, you can't beat the drive thru.

Now to the purpose of this blog, the Bears. I am not going to the opener. I am boycotting until they win or until they play a night game against Dallas. I fully expect that the Bears offense will score, and the CHIEF will be vanquished. It doesn't change the fact that:
1. The Coaches call a weeny game against good teams on the road.
2. Lovie Smith lies to us on a daily basis.
3. I have relinquished my seat on the "Rex Grossman Experience" roller-coaster ride.

I came to point number 3 in my usual high-traffic, alone-time on the commute. I listened to "Deepak" Smith drone on about the positives of last Sunday's "puss-out" and realized that Lovie had point number 2ed me on Grossman. He doesn't believe that Grossman can win them a big game. He never did. He really doesn't know if Rex can win them a big game. I then realized that I had just eaten from the tree of knowledge. I realized that I was naked, not literally (arrestable offense), but in my blind allegiance to the man. I am weak like that. Despite the sinking feeling, it is better this way. I can enjoy more college football and the beauty of perfect weather on a fall weekend. Perspective folks, is priceless.